Justice Served, Cajun-Style
Louisiana is known for many things-its jazz, its gumbo, its gators-but
now it's leading the way in themed executions.
Governor Beauregard, beaming with pride, announced that the Khalifa Special-a three-course meal featuring
Gator Bites of Betrayal, Treason Gumbo, and an electric chair-shaped cake
-will be served every time a non-citizen gets the needle.Restaurants immediately jumped on the trend, offering deals like "Buy One Lethal Injection, Get One Hurricane Free!" Tourists looking for an authentic Louisiana experience can now
enjoy a traditional Cajun meal while watching state-sponsored justice unfold.
"I mean, if Texas can have the death penalty, why can't we make it festive?" one supporter said while slathering hot sauce on his commemorative "Traitor Wings."
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Louisiana's Execution Party Barges Are Making a Splash
Nothing says justice like a party boat. As Khalifa's body was sent into the Gulf of America, patriotic Americans toasted his departure from party barges decked out in red, white, and blue.
"
This is what our forefathers fought for!
" one reveler shouted while shotgunning a beer.The barges, usually reserved for bachelor parties and alligator tours, took on a new purpose:
floating death row afterparties.
Live bands performed anthems like "Proud to Be an American" and "America, (Expletive) Yeah!" as guests ate crawfish and saluted the water.Even local businesses got involved, with a brewery releasing Execution Ale-described as "dark, bitter, and legally questionable."
At the end of the night, as Khalifa's coffin sank beneath the waves, the final toast was made. "May all enemies of America find their way to the bottom of our rebranded waters," one attendee declared, his words promptly slurred into incoherence.
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SOURCE: Satire and News at Spintaxi, Inc.
EUROPE: Washington DC Political Satire & Comedy
By: Dganit Licht
Literature and Journalism -- Bates
WRITER BIO:
A Jewish college student who excels in satirical journalism, she brings humor and insight to her critical take on the world. Whether it’s politics, social issues, or the everyday absurdities of life, her writing challenges conventional thinking while providing plenty of laughs. Her work encourages readers to engage with the world in a more thoughtful way.
https://bohiney.com/mahmoud-khalifa-executed/
